From the Times 29-2-8

What if we all went organic? The anti-battery farm brigade have got to do the maths

Funny old thing, the free market. It acts like a bullshit detector for the false prophets of consumer research. Take chicken. According to data gatherers, free range and organic birds are flying off the shelves (not literally), sales are up and shoppers are fighting in the aisles fuelled by a passion for ethically reared meat.

 

Yet down at my local supermarket, by the organic chicken counter, it is tumbleweed time. And has been for a week or so. I'm looking at three packs of organic, free-range chicken, should cost £34.61, knocked down to £28.62, a reduction of 17.3 per cent. Next stop the dump. Quite a big discount for the hot trolley item of the moment, don't you think? Free-range birds were reduced, too. Whoosh, what was that? It was the ethical eating spike, folks. Lasted about a month, until the Christmas Amex bill kicked in.

 

Hey, don't look at me. We've eaten organic for years. You won't find a bit of meat in my fridge that doesn't come with a certificate of authenticity, maybe even a handwritten note from its mum. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to see the poultry consumers of Great Britain being given a wholly free-range option by the end of the year. And all we would need is an area the size of the Lake District and we could do just that.

 

Approximately 885 square miles just for chickens, to comply with the EU Poultry and Meat Market Regulations. No people and, obviously, no predatory wildlife. A further vast area for feed, of course, because the availability of food is key to the free range existence, as chickens are not grazing animals. Thinking on it, the Lake District may be out, as chickens are happiest on free-draining, south-facing pasture, which minimises the build-up of worms and coccidial oocyst parasites. Maybe North Devon would be happy to move.

Remember that programme about chickens that Hugh Fearnley- Whittingstall made? He raised 1,500 of them free-range. Ah, bless. He should have given them names, like Gordon Ramsay did with his turkeys. Hugh's flock represented 0.00009036 per cent of national consumption and it still took 80 days to raise them. There are approximately 830 million chickens reared in Britain each year and the same number imported, mostly as portions, such as breast meat, for the catering trade.

 

Yet nobody in this great ethical debate has asked those that are dictating its direction about the practicalities. How exactly are 1,660,000,000 chickens going to be reared annually on a free-range basis (actually 1,726,400,000 because free-range chicken have a premature mortality rate of 4 per cent, meaning an additional 66,400,000 would be required to cover the shortfall), adequately fed and cared for? Now, or in the foreseeable future, it is simply not sustainable,

 

Chicken is simply a victim of its success. It is relatively easy to keep, cost-effective, nutritious and versatile. And it goes with everything. In the Italian cooking bible, Silver Spoon, there are 99 recipes for chicken, compared with 34 for lamb. The Spanish equivalent contains another 48. On the same page there is a recipe for breast meat sautéed with grapefruit, another for a whole bird casseroled with beer and onions. Find another protein-rich meat that performs across the board like that. Beef with grapefruit, anyone? Cod with beer and onions? Chicken became a working-class staple after myxomatosis killed 95 per cent of the British rabbit population between 1953 and 1955. What could not have been expected is its incredible adaptability as a food resource in modern society, hence its popularity.

 

To rear chicken ethically, then, means eschewing mass production and revolutionising the eating habits of a nation. It is not about choosing free range. It is about not choosing anything. There will, some weeks, be nothing to choose, because you cannot produce 17 million of any species in one year solely free-range. The smug set will say the nation should go back to treating meat as a luxury, but that will not happen, either. There will have to be a competitively priced, resourceful alternative to chicken, and the problem will start again.

 

It takes two years to set up a free-range poultry farm - between 20,000 and 25,000 birds is the average - by the time planning permission has been obtained, land cleared and building work completed. That is one hell of a gamble for a farmer to take. In the aftermath of a television campaign fronted by celebrity chefs, there was an upsurge in free-range and organic sales, but the same market research groups that recorded this will also confirm that 80 per cent of shoppers still list price as their top priority.

 

Even if there was a way to make British production free-range, it would be impossible to stop cheap imports arriving from the rest of the EU, where subsidies aid French broiler houses. So there will still be that choice: an ethical British chicken, or an inexpensive French one. And how many have the time or inclination to investigate either way? Free-range birds can still be reared primarily indoors, as long as there is access to an open-air environment, which can equate to a small exit flap. Do you know whether your free-range purchase has been subjected to those conditions; or are you just reading a label and picturing a field of carefree birds, happy to be turned into a pack of mini-fillets in return for 80 days of roaming in the compulsorily purchased Lake District?

 

They seem decent guys, these chefs. Their hearts are in the right place. But, logistically, it might be better if we take one, small free-range step at a time; because if the entire country got an attack of food ethics overnight, we really would be stuffed.